I am very confused about how I feel. Not gonna lie. LOL...
In just a few weeks Courtney will be here. Her Grandparents are allowing us to fly her out here for Spring Break. I know Jim has longed to see her in person. I have a feeling it is going to be quite an emotional meeting for everyone.
Here is my problem. Maybe I am just being my stupid, stubborn self. His Parents are my problem. You see, when Jim and his ex found out they were "expecting" she was only 16 and Jim was 17. His Parents said that they didn't want him to be on the birth certificate or pay child support unless the girlfriend went through testing to prove Jim was the Father.
Her Parents didn't want that, at least this is the story that is being told. Will I ever know the truth.....probably not.
Here is what I think. I think that my In Laws were really embarressed about the situation. I can only imagine that they blamed themselves, felt it was their fault for being so busy at work and life, providing for their family and they didn't see what was going on right in front of them with their own child. I can only guess that is why my husband wound up going to College so far away from home. They wanted to get him away from it all.
Jim had been pretty honest with me about the situation. He didn't tell me about the baby until we had been together almost a year. He was upset then, she was two years old at the time and he had never seen her.
As time has gone by, he had been looking for her. Finally we found her (most of you know that story). She has been living in California with her Grandparents, who had adopted her back in 98 and been raising her.
Jim broke down and told his Parents this past July and they act so thrilled. They wanted her address and phone number right away. They mailed her a card. God knows what it said. I am sure it said something to make them look good. They send her money and gift cards. Now before I go all "insane jealous" on you all, let me tell you what kind of people they are.
These people, my In Laws, are very cheap. I am not kidding. They will go out of town shopping all day and not eat. Not eat a thing. Why? Because they dont' want to spend the money! They will be gone ten, twelve hours and then come home complaining how hungry they are. They will order a pizza at domino's because it's only $5 and that is their dinner.
My kids have only gotten a handful of birthday gifts from them, ever. They refuse to attend the girls birthday parties, saying that they don't believe in bday parties. My FIL will even tell you his parents never did them so they never did them for their kids (my husband and his sister) and Jim will tell you he never got bday presents as a kid. When we lived in SC, we actually got bday cards and put $20 in them and signed their names so the girls would have something from someone besides us and my Parents and sisters. They didn't really have many friends down there seeing that we were homeschooling and couldn't find a good church.
So I think that they have never, ever gotten the girls anything for Easter either. And never for Valentines day. Let's just rule out every holiday and special occasion. I can tell you that this past Novemeber when Camryn had her 6th bday and we had a party for her at McDonalds, she personally invited them and they didnt' come. She was so heartbroken.
Imagine my anger when they sent Courtney a card and money for Valentine's day. I am not at all jealous, it is the principal of the fact. My kids are here, they don't act as if they care. They have kept them overnight twice in a year. Twice. After the first time she actually told us that she wanted to start keeping them individually so she can spend time with them one on one. I think it's just so she doesn't have to do anything with them. I know that sounds rude but it is how I feel. And the second time they stayed we had to practically beg them to keep them. We didn't want them to stay overnight, just watch them for a few hours while we went to dinner.
Naturally, you can tell that I have some supressed angry feelings. LOL
Here is my "concern". We have plans with Courtney. Nothing too major, but when we first pick her up at the airport, we thought maybe we would go to dinner before coming back home. I think his Parents will go with us to the airport. So their idea of going out to eat is a bucket of KFC or else double cheeseburgers from McDonald's. I want to take her to this Italian place that everyone keeps talking about, Buca Di Beppo. The girl likes pasta..... :)
So I guess if you think of it, say an extra prayer for me, I am gonna need it. Her plane arrives on Sunday the 5th and we take her back to the airport on Saturday the 11th.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
the stresses of being a preschool teacher
When I was hired for this position, I was informed that there would be a lot of "stuff" to deal with concerning the children. These kids come from really rough backgrounds. I just nodded and smiled, thinking to myself that I could handle that; after all, I did my student teaching in an inner city classroom. I had kids throwing desks. I had some really rough behavior problems. Also, I had worked in preschools for 14 years, collectively. I had been in administration for almost ten. I had seen it all.......
None of that prepared me for this job. I feel so uneducated some days. Like a fish out of water. I think I need some type of trainings, not kidding. The amount of paperwork alone is totally overwhelming. I need a secretary or administrative assistant. Now I know why they are paying me so much on the hour.....LOL.
Seriously, though. I have something due to the office almost weekly. There are naturally the Lesson plans and newsletters, also we are required to create a monthly calendar. We also have to submit curriculum and non-curriculum supply lists monthly. The curriculum supply list is actually pretty cool, though. Each classroom teacher is allowed $40 per month to spend on supplies. The second Thursday of every month we all meet at Wal-Mart and we shop for our supplies. Our boss is there with us and she makes the purchases. It is totally hilarious to watch!
We are all instructed to meet at the front of the store, near the registers, by 2:30. We all use the same check out. She has previously handed us our supply list to shop with, when we check out we give it back to her. After each teacher goes through the line, the cashier will tell our boss how much that person has spent and our boss marks it on the individual supply list. Then when everyone is finished, she pays on the agency credit card. I can only imagine how much that total is, considering there is like 16 or 18 classrooms. Sheesh.....
But now I am digressing.
So the other part of my job is all the standardized testing we have to implement. I have to use something called a "DECA" form twice a year per child. I have to administer a "DENVER" twice a year per child. Each child has to have a communication screening on file. We are required to fill out two progress reports, per child, per year. Then comes the most wonderful part of all, the Creative Curriculum.
First of all, I see nothing curriculum related about this binder. Secondly, there is little room for creativity. Basically it is a testing tool. They list a total of 50 skills that a typical child should master before going to Kindergarten. I have booklets for each child. I have to also submit every score online and print out a classroom composite. Worst of all, it plots graphs and charts of the children's progress and compares from the last time the report was submitted. We have to do this form of testing three times per year.
There is little time for much of anything else, if you let yourself fall into the trap of testing for all these different forms and such. I was so caught up in it at the beginning. I wanted so badly to impress my boss and prove to her that I could do the job. I worked diligently for about three weeks to get all the testing done that was behind. I was so proud when I turned in my Spring report only a couple weeks behind everyone else. Do you know she didn't say one thing! Not one!! :(
Now for the most overwhelming part of the job......the children. Over all, my kids are wonderful. I have grown to love each one of them, and have only been there ten weeks so far. As I read more and more about them, my heart aches. Several of my students have been molested. Most of them have been physically abused. A lot of them have been/are in the middle of custody battles.....torn between two parents. These kids are up against all kinds of odds and still they come to school with a smile on their face. They feel safe. They feel loved. They long to be "normal" and do the things all preschoolers do. My job is to provide a place where they can be themselves, they can learn and be proud of what they accomplish.
My students all come from a different lifestyle then I have ever known. It is hard to say why some people choose to live the way they live. My adult life has been a struggle, but I am an adult and I can change things. These children don't know any other kind of life.......I am very thankful for the opportunity to work with them each day. I pray that I make a difference in their young lives.
None of that prepared me for this job. I feel so uneducated some days. Like a fish out of water. I think I need some type of trainings, not kidding. The amount of paperwork alone is totally overwhelming. I need a secretary or administrative assistant. Now I know why they are paying me so much on the hour.....LOL.
Seriously, though. I have something due to the office almost weekly. There are naturally the Lesson plans and newsletters, also we are required to create a monthly calendar. We also have to submit curriculum and non-curriculum supply lists monthly. The curriculum supply list is actually pretty cool, though. Each classroom teacher is allowed $40 per month to spend on supplies. The second Thursday of every month we all meet at Wal-Mart and we shop for our supplies. Our boss is there with us and she makes the purchases. It is totally hilarious to watch!
We are all instructed to meet at the front of the store, near the registers, by 2:30. We all use the same check out. She has previously handed us our supply list to shop with, when we check out we give it back to her. After each teacher goes through the line, the cashier will tell our boss how much that person has spent and our boss marks it on the individual supply list. Then when everyone is finished, she pays on the agency credit card. I can only imagine how much that total is, considering there is like 16 or 18 classrooms. Sheesh.....
But now I am digressing.
So the other part of my job is all the standardized testing we have to implement. I have to use something called a "DECA" form twice a year per child. I have to administer a "DENVER" twice a year per child. Each child has to have a communication screening on file. We are required to fill out two progress reports, per child, per year. Then comes the most wonderful part of all, the Creative Curriculum.
First of all, I see nothing curriculum related about this binder. Secondly, there is little room for creativity. Basically it is a testing tool. They list a total of 50 skills that a typical child should master before going to Kindergarten. I have booklets for each child. I have to also submit every score online and print out a classroom composite. Worst of all, it plots graphs and charts of the children's progress and compares from the last time the report was submitted. We have to do this form of testing three times per year.
There is little time for much of anything else, if you let yourself fall into the trap of testing for all these different forms and such. I was so caught up in it at the beginning. I wanted so badly to impress my boss and prove to her that I could do the job. I worked diligently for about three weeks to get all the testing done that was behind. I was so proud when I turned in my Spring report only a couple weeks behind everyone else. Do you know she didn't say one thing! Not one!! :(
Now for the most overwhelming part of the job......the children. Over all, my kids are wonderful. I have grown to love each one of them, and have only been there ten weeks so far. As I read more and more about them, my heart aches. Several of my students have been molested. Most of them have been physically abused. A lot of them have been/are in the middle of custody battles.....torn between two parents. These kids are up against all kinds of odds and still they come to school with a smile on their face. They feel safe. They feel loved. They long to be "normal" and do the things all preschoolers do. My job is to provide a place where they can be themselves, they can learn and be proud of what they accomplish.
My students all come from a different lifestyle then I have ever known. It is hard to say why some people choose to live the way they live. My adult life has been a struggle, but I am an adult and I can change things. These children don't know any other kind of life.......I am very thankful for the opportunity to work with them each day. I pray that I make a difference in their young lives.
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