A few weeks ago my In Law's came down from Indiana for a long weekend. Promptly after hugging all the girls, my Father in Law exclaims "well, everyone is old enough to go to school next year, so that way your Mom can go out and get herself a job!"
EXCUSE ME....WHAT?!
I was so offended. Now, he has repeatedly offended me over the years when he degrades Teachers and complains about how useless we are. Doesn't he realize that is where I met his son in the first place? That if I wasn't going to College to be a Teacher, we never would have met and he wouldn't have these beautiful Grandkids in the first place??
This one statement set the tone for their entire visit. In fact, it still bothers me today. It is our choice to homeschool. Mine and Jim's. Are there days where I wish I was part of the public work force? I'm not going to lie, yes there are, but MONEY isn't everything.
And if he would step back, shut is yapper and think, our girls are so much better off then they were a year ago. Everyone is healthy, happy and wise. Why mess with that! SHEESH!!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Getting a jump on Spring!
Last week I was browsing in the Lawn and Garden Department at Wal Mart. To be quite honest, I was looking for porch furniture....just don't anyone tell the hubby, at least not yet, he has to think it was his idea in order to buy it! lol....
Anyhow, I was so overwhelmed with all the "simple" ways to start any kind of gardens or potted plants that you could imagine. The girls and I decided to plant some flowers and watch them, thinking we could use it as a Science experiment. You see, I don't do too bad with things OUTDOORS, but inside - well, let's just say my green thumb is more black than anything!
We kept changing our minds. I have always adored wildflowers, there is nothing like them for me in the entire world. They are the picture of innocence and beauty all wrapped in one! So when I saw a boxed kit for a potted butterfly garden, I was "hooked".
It was the best purchase for only $5. When we got our treasure chest home, we were thrilled to see all that was inside. We didn't need to add anything but water and love. So we did just that, a week ago Friday. By the way, the girls have named it "Johnny Smith Appleseed". And I have found them singing to it at least a dozen times a day. The seeds sprouted within three days. I am thinking we will have some flowers before the end of March. :)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
HiS eYeS
My husband has been a diagnosed diabetic for almost ten years. Over the past decade he has sometimes followed Doctor's orders and other times he has not. He has also been an on again off again smoker. Mostly on again. I cannot get him to stop.
Things are finally starting to catch up with him because two weeks ago during a routine eye exam he was told he has "diabetic retinopathy". From the little bit of research I have done on the internet and the short chat I had with the opthamologist, I learned that this diabetic condition is the leading cause of blindness in the United States! It is when the blood vessels in the eyes swell and may even bleed. They form clots near the macula. The macula is the part of your eye that controls your sight.
He has already been told that his right eye is far worse than the left one. The clots are so very close to his macula in the right eye. Last week he started seeing an eye specialist for aggressive therapy on his eyes. This Doctor is actually giving him shots in the eye! He had three in the right eye last week and now three in the left eye this past week. He goes back for a check up in two weeks. And follow up visits with more shots after that. All said and done, if they don't start to improve then a decision will be made in May about laser surgery.
You would think that going through all of this would make him follow his diet. It would make him take his meds like he should. It would make him check his sugar at least ONCE a day. But NO! NO!! He still eats practially whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And if I won't make it he gets really mad. I know what he is craving is not at all what he should be eating. That is part of the disease. I don't know what it will take for him to wake up!
All I know is that is scares me to even remotely think of living without him. To watch our children grow and not have him by my side. Raising four daughters is hard work, and it was something we had dreamt of doing together. This condition is something I never really thought of......I knew he could have complications with his diabetes but even that I didn't expect to happen until we were OLD. Like 70 or something.
I have decided to take a positive look on it, though. Why sit and dwell on the negative. If we pray and have a positive attitude than it doesn't hurt so bad, right? I know my God is bigger than this!!
Things are finally starting to catch up with him because two weeks ago during a routine eye exam he was told he has "diabetic retinopathy". From the little bit of research I have done on the internet and the short chat I had with the opthamologist, I learned that this diabetic condition is the leading cause of blindness in the United States! It is when the blood vessels in the eyes swell and may even bleed. They form clots near the macula. The macula is the part of your eye that controls your sight.
He has already been told that his right eye is far worse than the left one. The clots are so very close to his macula in the right eye. Last week he started seeing an eye specialist for aggressive therapy on his eyes. This Doctor is actually giving him shots in the eye! He had three in the right eye last week and now three in the left eye this past week. He goes back for a check up in two weeks. And follow up visits with more shots after that. All said and done, if they don't start to improve then a decision will be made in May about laser surgery.
You would think that going through all of this would make him follow his diet. It would make him take his meds like he should. It would make him check his sugar at least ONCE a day. But NO! NO!! He still eats practially whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And if I won't make it he gets really mad. I know what he is craving is not at all what he should be eating. That is part of the disease. I don't know what it will take for him to wake up!
All I know is that is scares me to even remotely think of living without him. To watch our children grow and not have him by my side. Raising four daughters is hard work, and it was something we had dreamt of doing together. This condition is something I never really thought of......I knew he could have complications with his diabetes but even that I didn't expect to happen until we were OLD. Like 70 or something.
I have decided to take a positive look on it, though. Why sit and dwell on the negative. If we pray and have a positive attitude than it doesn't hurt so bad, right? I know my God is bigger than this!!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
bedtime blues
I love each of my girls dearly. My intent is to do as much as I can with them, as often as I can. They grow up so quickly. I already feel as if time is slipping away. My memories of my Mom spending time with me are few and far between, she worked a lot. When she wasn't working, she was sleeping, especially the older I got. I do remember that she would take us and drop us off at the ballpark, the skating rink and even the YMCA for gymnastics. She would do other things while we were there and then come to pick us up when she was done.
There were many weekend nights that I remember playing games together as a family. We used to play card games like UNO and SKIP-BO as well as board games, like Monopoly, LIFE and Clue. The thing is, they would always "go" the same way. She would make chex mix or have some kind of snacks and sodas. Inevitably, someone would always spill their drink. That would then be the end of the game. No kidding. My Mom would go into some huge rage and just dump everything off the table and put it in the boxes and that was that. And don't you dare think about crying.....lol.
I have vowed to do it differently with my girls. We have an entire cupboard full of nothing but games. Board games, puzzles, card games, silly games like (ants in the pants & don't spill the beans). You get the idea. We havent' even begun to play them all. I like to play the ones where they can all participate. My younger two are not quite old enough to understand the concept of some games yet. Although the board game companies have gotten smart and invented "young" versions of adult favorites, which we did purchase monoploly jr. That is hilarious to play!!
Anyhow, one of my neighbor's brought over two board games Saturday. One is LIFE and the other is SORRY. We played SORRY right away. OH, my! lol....that was fun, but I think the next time it will just be the older two girls. We waited to play LIFE until yesterday. Yesterday was Martin Luther King day, and although public school was not in session, we still kept our regular school schedule. When we were done for the day, we played LIFE. Carson ended up winning. I am so glad I didn't play, I was only the banker. Do you know I actually had to keep track of things on a seperate peice of paper??? They have changed things with that game since I was a kid. It does make things more interesting.....this is definately one of those games when you want to follow the age limit on the box. SEVEN years old and up!!
So, I was frustrated to say the least. But somehow we managed. It totally blew my mind, too, that whoever had originally purchased this game had never even used it. How do I know? All the peices were still intact on the little plastic bars and the cards and such were still sealed in their little bags. Who would do such a thing when the game sells for like $35 at the store.
Enough said. My kids were tired. Between an entire school day, playing a game AND running around the playground for about an hour. I figured they would all but pass out when I tucked them in. They did the normal routine. About ten minutes after "tuck in" they all, one by one, miraculously have to "potty" one more time. Next comes the round of dehydration - you know, just one more drink. After chasing them all back to bed for what feels like the millionth time, my five year old sneaks back out to the sofa to sit beside me. Fighting back the urge to yell at her, I decide to ignore her and see what she does. She crawls right up under my left arm and snuggles with me. I stroke her hair, gently, and ask her why she isn't sleeping yet. Do you know what her response is?
"Mommy. I am not tired. Yep, how can I be tired?? I haven't yawned once all day!" Kids!!
There were many weekend nights that I remember playing games together as a family. We used to play card games like UNO and SKIP-BO as well as board games, like Monopoly, LIFE and Clue. The thing is, they would always "go" the same way. She would make chex mix or have some kind of snacks and sodas. Inevitably, someone would always spill their drink. That would then be the end of the game. No kidding. My Mom would go into some huge rage and just dump everything off the table and put it in the boxes and that was that. And don't you dare think about crying.....lol.
I have vowed to do it differently with my girls. We have an entire cupboard full of nothing but games. Board games, puzzles, card games, silly games like (ants in the pants & don't spill the beans). You get the idea. We havent' even begun to play them all. I like to play the ones where they can all participate. My younger two are not quite old enough to understand the concept of some games yet. Although the board game companies have gotten smart and invented "young" versions of adult favorites, which we did purchase monoploly jr. That is hilarious to play!!
Anyhow, one of my neighbor's brought over two board games Saturday. One is LIFE and the other is SORRY. We played SORRY right away. OH, my! lol....that was fun, but I think the next time it will just be the older two girls. We waited to play LIFE until yesterday. Yesterday was Martin Luther King day, and although public school was not in session, we still kept our regular school schedule. When we were done for the day, we played LIFE. Carson ended up winning. I am so glad I didn't play, I was only the banker. Do you know I actually had to keep track of things on a seperate peice of paper??? They have changed things with that game since I was a kid. It does make things more interesting.....this is definately one of those games when you want to follow the age limit on the box. SEVEN years old and up!!
So, I was frustrated to say the least. But somehow we managed. It totally blew my mind, too, that whoever had originally purchased this game had never even used it. How do I know? All the peices were still intact on the little plastic bars and the cards and such were still sealed in their little bags. Who would do such a thing when the game sells for like $35 at the store.
Enough said. My kids were tired. Between an entire school day, playing a game AND running around the playground for about an hour. I figured they would all but pass out when I tucked them in. They did the normal routine. About ten minutes after "tuck in" they all, one by one, miraculously have to "potty" one more time. Next comes the round of dehydration - you know, just one more drink. After chasing them all back to bed for what feels like the millionth time, my five year old sneaks back out to the sofa to sit beside me. Fighting back the urge to yell at her, I decide to ignore her and see what she does. She crawls right up under my left arm and snuggles with me. I stroke her hair, gently, and ask her why she isn't sleeping yet. Do you know what her response is?
"Mommy. I am not tired. Yep, how can I be tired?? I haven't yawned once all day!" Kids!!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
peanut...peanut butter!
This is being created outta sheer craziness.
Haven't you always wondered what kind of peanut butter is the best? The tastiest?? The "peanuttiest"????
Who hasn't? lol
One of my husband's employees brought him a ton of peanut butter a week or so before Christmas. She said she gets wic, and she just had so much peanut butter piling up at home. It is just her and her daughter so they don't use very much of it. She figured with four kids, we could probably use it up.
I have always been rather "choosy" with my peanut butter. If you know your slogans, then you know what kind I always buy. This lady purchased every kind. It was like something out of a movie, where someone had never heard of peanut butter, so they got every kind.
So, naturally my first reaction was "ew".
Then I got a plan to do a taste test. lol
We tried Skippy, Peter Pan, Jif and low fat Jif.
My kids hadn't had the first two brands, ever, in their lives.
They decided when they tried PP that they felt as if they could fly :)
In conclusion, I will still stick with my jif.
However, the low fat version is peanuttier, in my opinion.
YAY peanut butter!!
Haven't you always wondered what kind of peanut butter is the best? The tastiest?? The "peanuttiest"????
Who hasn't? lol
One of my husband's employees brought him a ton of peanut butter a week or so before Christmas. She said she gets wic, and she just had so much peanut butter piling up at home. It is just her and her daughter so they don't use very much of it. She figured with four kids, we could probably use it up.
I have always been rather "choosy" with my peanut butter. If you know your slogans, then you know what kind I always buy. This lady purchased every kind. It was like something out of a movie, where someone had never heard of peanut butter, so they got every kind.
So, naturally my first reaction was "ew".
Then I got a plan to do a taste test. lol
We tried Skippy, Peter Pan, Jif and low fat Jif.
My kids hadn't had the first two brands, ever, in their lives.
They decided when they tried PP that they felt as if they could fly :)
In conclusion, I will still stick with my jif.
However, the low fat version is peanuttier, in my opinion.
YAY peanut butter!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
changes
Woah! I am looking back on the first four blogs and I must say I notice a serious side of myself. I am usually not that serious. I guess I just had a lot on my mind that I needed to "get out". lol. From here on out, my blogs will have far less "doom and gloom" themes to them.
Starting with RIGHT NOW! I have always loved the South, and living here is like a dream come true. I never realized how tropical the South Carolina coast can be. I am used to this time of year being jeans and sweaters accompanied by hats, gloves, scarves, heavy coats and/or boots. The need to store extra blankets in the back of my car, making certain I have my snow scraper and a can or two of de-icer.
Currently, I am wearing shorts and a tshirt in my house. My windows are open. There is a nice breeze blowing through. Most likely the only snow I will be seeing this winter is on the weather channel. Do I miss it? Hell no!
Although I am not a photographer by nature, I am a "picture junkie" with my digital camera. I love to watch the sky when there is a threat of a thunderstorm. So, I am going to post a picture I took just two days ago. The clouds were moving ever so quickly. We had a threat of storms all day long, but actually experienced just some light rain that evening.
(as a side note, if anyone can help me figure out how to place pictures in other parts of you blog, like HERE instead of at the top, I would greatly appreciate it! :) thanks)
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Courtney
I have a sixteen year old stepdaughter that I have never seen or spoken to. It literally tears me up inside. I have seen pictures of her and she is so beautiful, I am getting to know her via emails but it isn't the same as a personal relationship. It is easy to get to know a stranger that way, and in a way right now Courtney is a stranger to us, but I wanted so much more. I feel she needs us to be so much more than "computer buddies".
You see, when I first met Jim he was already what some would consider "damaged goods". Yes, he had "been around the block a few times". When he was sixteen, his girlfriend became pregnant. Now - stop there for a moment. I must get up on my little soapbox, if you please.
I DO NOT FOR ONE MOMENT THINK THAT TEENAGE PREGNANCY IS OKAY. IT IS NOT THE GIRLS FAULT ANYMORE THAN IT IS THE BOYS FAULT, UNLESS A RAPE IS INVOLVED. FOR ME, ABORTION IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. TEENAGE MARRIAGE, IN MY OPINION, IS A POOR CHOICE AS WELL - UNLESS THE COUPLE HAVE A RARE AND INTENSE HISTORY. I THINK ADOPTION IS A GREAT CHOICE OR ELSE HAVING AND RAISING THE CHILD WITH THE HELP OF ALL PARTIES INVOLVED.
Off my soapbox now. Unfortunately for baby Courtney, born back in 1991, neither set of her Grandparents felt the same way as I do. In fact, what happened was very sad. My husband was forbidden to ever see her Mother or have any kind of contact with her again. By both sets of Grandparents. Her Mom moved out and tried to make it on her own, still a kid herself.
When Jim and I first started dating, he was up front with me about all of this. I cried. I had been told that I have endometriosis and could never have children. So to think that he had a kid and that maybe we could find her and adopt her was just mind blowing! When we moved to Indiana in 1996, that became one of my goals. To find Courtney's Mom and become part of Courtney's life. It was virtually impossible.
Little did we know what that child had been through and was going through at that time. Now, I will not admit that I know everything but from what she has told me, during her young years her Mom did not make the best choices for herself......the men she "shacked up" with abused Courtney. Both physically and sexually. The poor, poor baby. In 1998, after our first baby was born, Courtney's Mom contacted us. She had seen Peyton's birth announcement and followed some kind of trail and it led her straight to Little Ceasar's where Jim was a manager.
She said that she had signed over her rites to her Parents and they needed Jim to do the same so that they could formally adopt Courtney. They were already raising her as their own child anyways. I argued with Jim that she belonged with us if her Mom didn't want her. I wanted her. She was seven years old by this point. So Jim agreed to meet with the social worker on the case and find out what he could. The social worker told him that she was very pretty and it was no denying who her Daddy was, they had the same big brown eyes. He even managed to get Jim a picture of her.
He explained to Jim that Courtney had been through far more than any adult could handle and that he and the courts really felt it was best not to disturb her any more than she had already been. They were pushing for the adoption by her Grandparents. HOWEVER, since no one had been able to locate Jim because we had lived in Florida for so long, they said all he had to do was attend their recommended Parenting classes and pay back child support, and Courtney was ours. Boy did I want him to do that, but we had just started a family of our own and neither of us could see how we would manage back child support. That was such a tough decision to make.
During this time, I had a wonderful job offer in Ohio and we decided that moving and starting over was in our best interest. I had just found out I was expecting Carson (so much for that Doctor saying I couldn't have kids, huh?) and if I could find someone willing to hire me with one baby and one on the way then I was gonna jump aboard that train! LOL.....
After we moved, Jim was served papers to sign over his rites to Courtney. We both cried. How fitting that the hearing was scheduled the day after Thanksgiving. So we made plans to go to Indiana for the long Holiday weekend. I remember talking about it on the way there and how much I wanted him to contest it at the hearing. He wanted to, but in his heart he said he always felt as though that counselor was right and it was best to just let go.
We had never seen or heard from any of that family again. Jim was always looking up her Granpa's name, trying to at least find out where they lived. Over the years, we ended up with four children - ironically, all girls. This past Summer, on a whim, I looked up Courtney on myspace. I never in a million years expected to find her, yet there she was. I cried. When Jim got home I showed him and he denied it. He was in such shock that he didn't think it was as easy as that. But he messaged her and she replied and they have been talking back and forth ever since.
I will never forget the day she messaged him and gave him a day and time to call her, when no one else would be home. He cried after that phone call and had a smile plastered to his face for about two days straight. It was such a happy time. She has been saying for a few months about how she wants to tell her Grandparents about us, but doesn't know how. Yesterday she emailed Jim and asked him to call there and get it out in the open. He tried to get up the nerve to do it for about five hours. Finally, he called but when the Grandpa answered he hung up. So I ended up calling. I couldn't stand to see him torture himself any more over this.
I could never imagine in my wildest dreams that someone could be so cold hearted. I acted as if I wasn't sure it was the right phone number and then I introduced myself and told him what I wanted. He said that he was not going to allow us to get to know her, to "just leave the past in the past" and curtly, cruedly....he said "and PLEASE never call here again". And then he hung up. My heart hurt. I couldn't look at my husband. The tears just streamed down my face.
Where do we go from here? She is sixteen, isn't that old enough to make her own decision anyhow? There is nothing on paper from the courts that says he is not allowed to have any kind of contact with her. This is by far the saddest thing that has happened to us over the years. I longed to help this girl out. She needs someone who Mother's her.....someone to hold her when she is sad, when she breaks up with a boy, when she feels as if the world is closing in on her. Most of all, she needs Jesus. And I wanted to be the one there for her. I cannot stand all this drama and I just wonder why the Lord would allow us to find her and then let this happen. My poor husband is so depressed. He keeps saying that he knew Phillip hated him, he just didn't know how much. So, who carries around a 17 year old grudge like that. I mean, so he got the girl pregnant back in 1990, that was a very long time ago.
All I know is this. I will love this child, no matter what. She has our address and our phone number. I am not in any way trying to encourage her to run away and live with us. I do not even think I can handle a teenager right now. But the thing is, if she needs us, we will be here and we will strive to do our very best by her. Courtney, we love you!!
You see, when I first met Jim he was already what some would consider "damaged goods". Yes, he had "been around the block a few times". When he was sixteen, his girlfriend became pregnant. Now - stop there for a moment. I must get up on my little soapbox, if you please.
I DO NOT FOR ONE MOMENT THINK THAT TEENAGE PREGNANCY IS OKAY. IT IS NOT THE GIRLS FAULT ANYMORE THAN IT IS THE BOYS FAULT, UNLESS A RAPE IS INVOLVED. FOR ME, ABORTION IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. TEENAGE MARRIAGE, IN MY OPINION, IS A POOR CHOICE AS WELL - UNLESS THE COUPLE HAVE A RARE AND INTENSE HISTORY. I THINK ADOPTION IS A GREAT CHOICE OR ELSE HAVING AND RAISING THE CHILD WITH THE HELP OF ALL PARTIES INVOLVED.
Off my soapbox now. Unfortunately for baby Courtney, born back in 1991, neither set of her Grandparents felt the same way as I do. In fact, what happened was very sad. My husband was forbidden to ever see her Mother or have any kind of contact with her again. By both sets of Grandparents. Her Mom moved out and tried to make it on her own, still a kid herself.
When Jim and I first started dating, he was up front with me about all of this. I cried. I had been told that I have endometriosis and could never have children. So to think that he had a kid and that maybe we could find her and adopt her was just mind blowing! When we moved to Indiana in 1996, that became one of my goals. To find Courtney's Mom and become part of Courtney's life. It was virtually impossible.
Little did we know what that child had been through and was going through at that time. Now, I will not admit that I know everything but from what she has told me, during her young years her Mom did not make the best choices for herself......the men she "shacked up" with abused Courtney. Both physically and sexually. The poor, poor baby. In 1998, after our first baby was born, Courtney's Mom contacted us. She had seen Peyton's birth announcement and followed some kind of trail and it led her straight to Little Ceasar's where Jim was a manager.
She said that she had signed over her rites to her Parents and they needed Jim to do the same so that they could formally adopt Courtney. They were already raising her as their own child anyways. I argued with Jim that she belonged with us if her Mom didn't want her. I wanted her. She was seven years old by this point. So Jim agreed to meet with the social worker on the case and find out what he could. The social worker told him that she was very pretty and it was no denying who her Daddy was, they had the same big brown eyes. He even managed to get Jim a picture of her.
He explained to Jim that Courtney had been through far more than any adult could handle and that he and the courts really felt it was best not to disturb her any more than she had already been. They were pushing for the adoption by her Grandparents. HOWEVER, since no one had been able to locate Jim because we had lived in Florida for so long, they said all he had to do was attend their recommended Parenting classes and pay back child support, and Courtney was ours. Boy did I want him to do that, but we had just started a family of our own and neither of us could see how we would manage back child support. That was such a tough decision to make.
During this time, I had a wonderful job offer in Ohio and we decided that moving and starting over was in our best interest. I had just found out I was expecting Carson (so much for that Doctor saying I couldn't have kids, huh?) and if I could find someone willing to hire me with one baby and one on the way then I was gonna jump aboard that train! LOL.....
After we moved, Jim was served papers to sign over his rites to Courtney. We both cried. How fitting that the hearing was scheduled the day after Thanksgiving. So we made plans to go to Indiana for the long Holiday weekend. I remember talking about it on the way there and how much I wanted him to contest it at the hearing. He wanted to, but in his heart he said he always felt as though that counselor was right and it was best to just let go.
We had never seen or heard from any of that family again. Jim was always looking up her Granpa's name, trying to at least find out where they lived. Over the years, we ended up with four children - ironically, all girls. This past Summer, on a whim, I looked up Courtney on myspace. I never in a million years expected to find her, yet there she was. I cried. When Jim got home I showed him and he denied it. He was in such shock that he didn't think it was as easy as that. But he messaged her and she replied and they have been talking back and forth ever since.
I will never forget the day she messaged him and gave him a day and time to call her, when no one else would be home. He cried after that phone call and had a smile plastered to his face for about two days straight. It was such a happy time. She has been saying for a few months about how she wants to tell her Grandparents about us, but doesn't know how. Yesterday she emailed Jim and asked him to call there and get it out in the open. He tried to get up the nerve to do it for about five hours. Finally, he called but when the Grandpa answered he hung up. So I ended up calling. I couldn't stand to see him torture himself any more over this.
I could never imagine in my wildest dreams that someone could be so cold hearted. I acted as if I wasn't sure it was the right phone number and then I introduced myself and told him what I wanted. He said that he was not going to allow us to get to know her, to "just leave the past in the past" and curtly, cruedly....he said "and PLEASE never call here again". And then he hung up. My heart hurt. I couldn't look at my husband. The tears just streamed down my face.
Where do we go from here? She is sixteen, isn't that old enough to make her own decision anyhow? There is nothing on paper from the courts that says he is not allowed to have any kind of contact with her. This is by far the saddest thing that has happened to us over the years. I longed to help this girl out. She needs someone who Mother's her.....someone to hold her when she is sad, when she breaks up with a boy, when she feels as if the world is closing in on her. Most of all, she needs Jesus. And I wanted to be the one there for her. I cannot stand all this drama and I just wonder why the Lord would allow us to find her and then let this happen. My poor husband is so depressed. He keeps saying that he knew Phillip hated him, he just didn't know how much. So, who carries around a 17 year old grudge like that. I mean, so he got the girl pregnant back in 1990, that was a very long time ago.
All I know is this. I will love this child, no matter what. She has our address and our phone number. I am not in any way trying to encourage her to run away and live with us. I do not even think I can handle a teenager right now. But the thing is, if she needs us, we will be here and we will strive to do our very best by her. Courtney, we love you!!
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