HiS eYeS

My husband has been a diagnosed diabetic for almost ten years. Over the past decade he has sometimes followed Doctor's orders and other times he has not. He has also been an on again off again smoker. Mostly on again. I cannot get him to stop.

Things are finally starting to catch up with him because two weeks ago during a routine eye exam he was told he has "diabetic retinopathy". From the little bit of research I have done on the internet and the short chat I had with the opthamologist, I learned that this diabetic condition is the leading cause of blindness in the United States! It is when the blood vessels in the eyes swell and may even bleed. They form clots near the macula. The macula is the part of your eye that controls your sight.

He has already been told that his right eye is far worse than the left one. The clots are so very close to his macula in the right eye. Last week he started seeing an eye specialist for aggressive therapy on his eyes. This Doctor is actually giving him shots in the eye! He had three in the right eye last week and now three in the left eye this past week. He goes back for a check up in two weeks. And follow up visits with more shots after that. All said and done, if they don't start to improve then a decision will be made in May about laser surgery.

You would think that going through all of this would make him follow his diet. It would make him take his meds like he should. It would make him check his sugar at least ONCE a day. But NO! NO!! He still eats practially whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And if I won't make it he gets really mad. I know what he is craving is not at all what he should be eating. That is part of the disease. I don't know what it will take for him to wake up!

All I know is that is scares me to even remotely think of living without him. To watch our children grow and not have him by my side. Raising four daughters is hard work, and it was something we had dreamt of doing together. This condition is something I never really thought of......I knew he could have complications with his diabetes but even that I didn't expect to happen until we were OLD. Like 70 or something.

I have decided to take a positive look on it, though. Why sit and dwell on the negative. If we pray and have a positive attitude than it doesn't hurt so bad, right? I know my God is bigger than this!!